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Sorry to pick on this article, Wiki descriptions are generally not great in this respect & I understand that sources are often thin on technical detail, but from the description I can in no way formulate a cross section or a side elevation of the armour arrangements. A good set diagrams, at very
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More of the naval terms should be linked (waterline, transverse and longitudinal steel frames, tp name a few) to be safe. The average person knows very little about ship design and nautical terminology. I'd recommend going through the article and adding a link to any design elements that the average
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Oh and you may or may not want to do something about this comment from the FAC: "reduced to 80 mm in less important areas of the hull" ... "less important how?" It depends on how easy it would be to answer this; a long answer would be worse than no answer. - Dank
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The external links sections should be at the very bottom of the prose, but with only one link I would question the necessity of it. You could just omit the section or add more links to it if you like, that's your
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Someone broke the links to the naval guns by adding convert templates. Is it really necessary to convert the gun caliber to inches? I had the impression even the
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I agree with a previous reviewer that I'm not certain what this means: "information from the German naval attaché to
Britain about the armament of the Invincible class was leaked." - Dank (
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Just FYI, aftering muttering a bit about units and getting a couple of changes to the MOS, I'm done; my standard disclaimer says I don't do units, and I'm going to stick to that. - Dank (
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Punctuation in large numbers should be consistent, Commas in all large numbers or none (1,000 or 1000) This is relatively minor but it is noticably inconsistent throughout the article.
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Groner doesn't attribute it to anyone, but his book is based entirely on official documents from the naval archives, so I thought it would be safe to attribute it to the navy.
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I corrected the 9.4" British guns to correct caliber of 9.2"; also, my references do not show the 8.2" as superior to the 9.2" in anything, so I removed that parenthesis.
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Okay, assuming Groner talked about more and less important or critical areas, IMO it's a good-enough fix to stick that ref at the end of the sentence. Done. - Dank (
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although it only refers to the captain as "Captain
Erdmann". May somebody assist me in finding a credible source stating Blücher's captain? Cheers!--
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The important areas are primarily the machinery spaces and ammunition magazines, which were grouped as much as possible in the center of the ship.
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The German naval attache assigned to
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Although she is not a
British ship... is she considered a war grave? If so, I think that this should be mentioned in her article. Cheers
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Okay, done with the pre-FAC copyedit. (Disclaimer: the more of these I do, the faster I do them ... we'll see how that goes :) - Dank (
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Thanks for the review, Ed. I think I've fixed everything you pointed out. Let me know if the "on which construction" bit is fine now.
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It looks just fine, thanks. The article now meets the GA criteria, according to my interpretation of them. Well done! -—
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1207:"starting with Von der Tann, on which construction began in 1907" - This sounds very awkward and should be reworded.
992:-related articles on Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
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1404:"Blücher" doesn't appear at leo.org, is it a proper name, and was it named after a particular person? - Dank (
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Unfortunately, editions of
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Okay, went through it one more time, done now. - Dank (
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Okay, I made the change, see if that works. - Dank (
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1629:— Preceding
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1531:push to talk
1518:push to talk
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1492:ship motions
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19:This is the
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1373:Captain(s)?
1159:transcluded
664:World War I
229:SMS Blücher
196:SMS Blücher
148:free images
31:not a forum
25:SMS Blücher
1688:Categories
1672:Kendall-K1
1665:Naval guns
1226:verifiable
1123:War grave?
999:Shipwrecks
962:Shipwrecks
849:has passed
469:column on
413:column on
205:identified
1651:Parsecboy
1594:Parsecboy
1541:Parsecboy
1464:Parsecboy
1424:Parsecboy
1418:Only the
1344:Parsecboy
1151:GA Review
990:shipwreck
459:Main Page
403:Main Page
88:if needed
71:Be polite
21:talk page
1631:unsigned
1379:Blücher'
1137:Armament
656:European
652:Maritime
513:FA-class
389:Promoted
374:Promoted
336:Approved
56:get help
29:This is
27:article.
1322:On Hold
1315:Overall
1266:policy:
1234:Not Yet
1200:Not Yet
1053:history
1026:on the
622:on the
595:Germany
586:Germany
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461:in the
429:Blücher
405:in the
295:Process
154:WP refs
142:scholar
1386:Martin
1298:images
1178:review
1129:V. Joe
660:German
519:scale.
477:, and
439:German
317:Listed
298:Result
236:series
126:Google
1399:Notes
1218:call.
1180:(see
1161:from
1100:-None
1070:To Do
1063:purge
1058:watch
923:Ships
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198:is a
169:JSTOR
130:books
84:Seek
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1306:Pass
1287:Pass
1272:Pass
1253:Pass
1186:here
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906:Ship
427:SMS
292:Date
238:, a
162:FENS
136:news
73:and
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1360:Ed!
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1143:Dht
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