265:"This change in events was acceptable to Germans who were able to relax in the knowing that they were still the owners of the fastest liner, however NDL promptly ordered that the Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse was to undergo a refit to ensure that they were the dominant German company." - This is a rather awkward sentence (it runs on quite a bit, and is rather verbose). Can you try to simplify this?
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202:" NDL however, was the first company to name any of their liners in honour of members of the Imperial family, purely to flatter the emperor." - Firstly, there should be a comma between NDL and however. Secondly, the "purely to flatter the emperor" portion sounds awkward. Did the name their liners to flatter the emperor, or were they the first to do it for that reason?
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I applaud the work you've done on this article, Bonjour LaLaLa. You've done an excellent job in filling out this article comprehensively. Unfortunately, I do feel that this article requires an extensive proofreading before this can be considered for GA status, so I will fail this nomination for now.
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I am stopping at this point before totally reviewing criterion 1. A full copyedit should be completed before this article can proceed through the GA process. This article's prose has a great ring to it, for the most part, but such prose probably belongs more in nonfiction books and the like.
239:"From her maiden voyage, she was the only superliner to date who had travelled the Atlantic with such speed and such media attention." - This sentence doesn't really make sense to me. Was it the fastest and the most well-covered in terms of the media? If so, you should clarify that.
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242:"22.3 knots successfully showing the new German competition." - Two notes: firstly, you did the double period thing again, so fix that. Also, I don't think the "successfully showing the new German competition" is necessary.
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Otherwise, the article is very well-referenced. Most of the sources, however, are offline, so you should add ISBN codes and the like for the books. This is not part of the GA criteria, and you will not be held to this.
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287:"A popular ship, she has largely been forgotten, having lived in the shadow of her British counterparts." - In the lead. This seems like a challengeable statement. Source this.
208:"had it not been for the Great Eastern of 1860." - Two comments. Firstly, there are two periods following 1860 in the article, so remove the one after the citation. Secondly, "
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and contact somebody there. I hope you work out the article's prose issues and renominate this for GA really soon, because this here is the start of something great. :) --
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However, it looks like you won't be editing this article for a very long while, so I'll leave comments for editors interested in taking up where you left off.
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248:"how the British would retaliate" - Move the period before the citation, and replace "retaliate" with the more neutral "respond".
199:"thus decrease that of the British." - There are two periods following this in the article. Remove the one after the citation.
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The article gives no undue weight to opposing sides, in my opinion. I don't really see a place where it could happen.
223:"Imperial family, it was the emperor who baptised the ship" - Imperial family. The emperor baptised the ship
181:"marked the beginning of a huge change" - "Huge" feels kind of unencyclopedic. Can you find a synonym?
184:"an all third class ship" - I'm not sure what an all third class ship is. Can this be wikilinked?
226:"her regular crossings, her maiden voyage being" - her regular crossings. Her maiden voyage was
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178:"The first of four sister ships built" - In the article, why is "sister ships" italicized?
262:"Hamburg America Line." - You did the double period situation here. Get that fixed up.
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To all interested parties...If you'd like a place to start, I suggest you look at
212:" connects to a disambiguation page. Can you link it to the actual article of the
245:"been held by the Cunard Liner," - been held by a Cunard Liner,
236:"from the immigrant's wishing" - from the immigrants wishing
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The article appears stable, according to its edit history.
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The article looks sufficiently broad and well-focused.
205:"which was to b named" - Should be self-explanatory. :P
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I will continue reviewing for the remaining criteria.
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156:I'll take on this review. --
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366:07:20, 15 July 2011 (UTC)
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362:Starstriker7 - public
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104:visual edit
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71:Templates
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27:GA Review
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189:History
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