154:
768:
The article about the
Assassination of Abraham Lincoln is indeed about a much more prominent and notable person who has dozens of articles about him. I have to point out that its size is about 5,000 words while the Death of Kevin Gately is about 4,000 words. I notice that the Death of Blair Peach (a
713:
The first thing that struck me when reading the first paragraph was the question of who is Kevin Gately and whether the article should be a bio. After I came to terms that it was an event and skimmed through the article, I pondered if the article should be about the death of Kevin Gately or the Red
194:
I started my read-through with an unsettling feeling that I'd reviewed this article already, but when I saw the name Blair Peach the penny dropped. Both very sad narratives, and both treated with sympathy and scrupulous balance. (You may take it as the highest of compliments that faulty memory told
772:
If this page is based on a
Featured Article and have a very similar structure, then it has a good standard. My observations are simply a reflection of my perception and criticism of said structure, even if it's based on an FA. I on occasion have corrected first sentences in FAs that didn't follow
717:
If it is about the first one, then I think there should be more correlation of the content with the death of Kevin Gately. Much of the content made me feel lost and thinking more of the disorders or the protest itself. Maybe the article should have more continuity in the form of less emphasis on
615:
The increasingly provocative actions by the
National Front continued through the 1970s led to what Peter Waddington describes as "a predictably violent response" from the militant left. Violence from both sides in Birmingham, Manchester, the East End of London (all 1977) and in 1979 in Southall,
745:
on an individual who has dozens of articles about him, his family, his life, sexuality, speeches, elections etc - so many articles that he even needs his own navbox); there are even eight articles in the navbox about the assassination. This is a situation much more like the
281:"He had allocated four foot police serials" – I had a fleeting vision of midget coppers, and I think a hyphen in "foot-police" would help the reader's eye along, here and similarly later, where the vision of seven-foot policemen is equally nonplussing.
348:"For the remainder of the 1970s, Liberation found its ability to lead ... The IMG no longer relied on mass demonstrations to get their message across" – as you know, I am perfectly happy with either using plural pronouns and verbs for organisations,
391:
Afterthought, after another read-through: I'm not quite happy about the caption for the lead image: "was killed" suggests inflicted violence, and the article shows that there is no evidence of that, and so perhaps "died" might be more neutral? −
320:"most were in their late teens and early twenties, many of whom were students" – this doesn't seem to me to flow properly, and I think you want something on the lines of "most were in their late teens and early twenties; many were students"
754:, where a single death of an ordinary person was part of something wider, but those deaths (more so for Peach than Fletcher) are what make the situation most notable and their deaths are what led to the later inquests etc. Thanks -
359:"As, although they raised their vote in some seats, their share of the national vote remained consistent." – this sentence seems to have declared its independence from the preceding one, to which the "as" naturally attaches it.
227:"The National Front ... opposition to Britain's membership of the European Economic Community" – Just a passing comment, nothing to do with the review: I had forgotten this. Lucky us to have Farrage, Mogg
448:
Is his place of study, or indeed education in general, relevant? First-sentence relevant? Would anything have been different if he was a first-year student of
English Literature at Reading?
260:
says "Theresa May was the prime minister". The only difference is that when writing in good
English (ie. using the definite article), one has to then use lower case. The mind boggles...
894:
It is. While
Americans insist on the singular for an institution, we are happy with plural pronouns and verbs, given groups and institutions are made up of multiple individuals. -
821:
I might read "local support" to mean "in the locality of Red Lion Square", whereas "localised support" would - to me at least - suggest local clusters or support. -
618:
doesn't quite flow; you could just replace the full stop with an emdash if you're saying that the "violence from both sides" was the "predictably violent response".
334:"The report, by the journalists Peter Chippindale and Martin Walker" – you've already introduced us to these two gents, and provided blue links to their articles.
126:
256:
says "Directly juxtaposed with the person's name, such words begin with a capital letter" and gives an example of "David
Cameron was Prime Minister", while
122:
76:
206:"support of the repatriation of immigrants" – I think they meant compulsory or even forcible repatriation, and if so I'd use one or other adjective here.
741:
Thanks for your thoughts. I think the
Lincoln article is an entirely different situation (a one-off assassination that was a sub-set of a much larger
253:
107:
543:
I've struggled to know what to shorten, as it's all good stuff, so I've incorporated both as a separate paragraph - I hope this works for you! -
99:
691:- that's great. I think I've caught everything, but I'll go over it again pre-FAC, particularly focusing on the passive voice part. Cheers -
742:
368:
That's my lot. This is a fine article, and it is a pleasure to be reviewing a SchroCat article again. Please ping me when you go to FAC. –
257:
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195:
me that the Blair Peach article was by Brian
Boulton.) I have only a few comments – nothing of substance, merely drafting points.
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I've listed this article for peer review because it's an interesting piece of London history and sits in counterpoint to the
220:"The president of the organisation was Lord Brockwell" – poor old Fenner! You have rechristened him. He was Lord Brock
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I understand you're not, but it could seem like you're saying there's at least ten BNF members (also in Note b)
245:"Harold Wilson, the Prime Minister" – capital letters for job title? I would, but I don't think Knowledge does.
773:
relevant guidance in the Manual of Style. But in this case it may just be a matter of personal taste. Cheers!
799:
Feel free to ignore any of these, particularly any arising from a lack of familiarity with
British English:
362:"The University of Warwick has ... the union have" – as above, toing and froing between singular and plural.
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bit repetitive, but if there's no way to shift the sentence about without making it awkward, no worries
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267:"Syd Bidwell, a Labour Party Member of Parliament" – scope for some lower-casing there too, methinks.
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it was decided that entry to the hall for the Liberation meeting was to be by the back door
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prepared to use violence against their political opponents to gain an advantage
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I think I've caught all these, but I'll go through it pre-FAC to make sure. -
252:
It should be really, but it's an area where the MOS contradicts itself badly:
356:, but you didn't oughter mix them. One or the other throughout, I'd say.
946:. All tidied up per your comments, except where commented on. Cheers -
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is "to gain an advantage" redundant? Versus "to gain a disadvantage"?
420:- all duly attended to. I'm much obliged for your thoughts. Cheers -
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The London Area Council of Liberation was contacted by a journalist
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I would shorten notes d and e and incorporate them into the prose.
175:. I'm thinking of FAC after this, but I'm not sure yet. Cheers -
148:
444:
Hey SchroCat, just a few thoughts from reading through:
306:"four to Liberation march" – missing a definite article?
288:
Re-reading, I had a view of quadrupeds and hexapeds...
141:
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667:
Not a lot to criticise really. Should do fine at FAC.
643:
You give subtitles for some books but not for others.
875:has a duplicate link ...and a triplicate link
474:petition to Harold Wilson, the Prime Minister,
860:and informed about the National Front's plans
840:Labour Party Member of Parliament Syd Bidwell
769:featured article) is also around 5,000 words.
718:certain details. Check the article about the
313:Marches to Red Lion Square; first disturbance
70:
8:
919:That's all I got. Nice work - very clean. ~
504:Try to use active voice wherever possible:
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814:How does that differ from "local support"
887:I'm assuming that's British vernacular?
862:should there be an "it" after informed?
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616:which led to the death of Blair Peach.
562:He fell sideways as his knees buckled"
7:
743:Conclusion of the American Civil War
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24:
224:, a splendid and upright old boy.
213:Liberation and the National Front
720:Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
589:Waddington needs an introduction
571:Rejigged the refs to add this -
479:would have that in sentence case
152:
650:Now all added that have them -
913:when two looters had been shot
1:
625:Yep - reworked it a little -
564:you need a ref after a quote.
231:upholding the NF's tradition.
956:13:48, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
935:01:52, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
904:13:48, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
831:13:40, 21 January 2023 (UTC)
787:18:09, 15 January 2023 (UTC)
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430:12:12, 15 January 2023 (UTC)
408:18:02, 14 January 2023 (UTC)
384:17:30, 14 January 2023 (UTC)
298:12:12, 15 January 2023 (UTC)
185:20:43, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
915:Should that be "were shot"?
989:
973:January 2023 peer reviews
807:in the lead image caption
752:Murder of Yvonne Fletcher
676:Penny for your thoughts?
846:by CPGB members by 1967
714:Lion Square disorders.
709:Comments from Thinker78
352:or using singular ones
190:Comments from Tim riley
164:discussion is closed.
28:Death of Kevin Gately
18:Knowledge:Peer review
842:Bit of a sea of blue
748:Death of Blair Peach
173:death of Blair Peach
873:Metropolitan Police
880:Subdural hematoma
811:localised support
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455:Nope - cut -
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274:15 June 1974
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162:peer review
104:visual edit
853:10–12,000
778:Thinker78
727:Thinker78
418:Tim riley
397:Tim riley
373:Tim riley
327:Aftermath
967:Category
948:SchroCat
896:SchroCat
823:SchroCat
756:SchroCat
693:SchroCat
652:SchroCat
627:SchroCat
598:SchroCat
573:SchroCat
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488:SchroCat
457:SchroCat
422:SchroCat
290:SchroCat
238:Planning
177:SchroCat
868:--: -->
855:--: -->
848:--: -->
813:--: -->
750:or the
687:Thanks
596:Done -
486:Done -
127:history
108:history
94:Article
36:Toolbox
944:HAL333
784:(talk)
733:(talk)
341:Legacy
689:Harry
440:Harry
229:et al
160:This
136:Watch
16:<
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258:this
254:this
199:Lead
181:talk
123:edit
100:edit
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923:HAL
222:way
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