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1651:"Greutert said in an interview with Bloody Disgusting that Saw VI would have the most characters in any Saw film to date including a lot of new characters to the series, but said that the writers would stay true to previous story lines to prevent any "violations of logic and chronology"." "Said" is used twice here, see if this could be reworded a bit to remove the redundancy.
1789:"Saw VI opened in 3,036 theaters at No. 2 with USD$ 6,957,263" This would read better as "at the second position" or "in second place". Also, the infobox uses the '$ ' by itself, but 'USD$ ' is used here. To stay consistent, one label should be used throughout the article. Since the film opened in second place, it may be helpful to mention how much
1360:"I don't think this article is ready for FA yet". After reading your concerns about prose (and the concern of not having any images), I don't think so either. Thank you, I will contact someone about the copyediting. I just came to Knowledge last October (editing) and recently began working heavily on
1857:
Maybe you could consider using a small video portion that could focus on one of the traps. Although our articles are not to be censored on here, if you were going to use one, I would recommend a clip that is not too gruesome but places strong emphasis on the trap related to the text. --Happy editing!
1821:
I tried searching for a variety of images of the premiere, cast, and film set a few weeks back, but didn't find any likely candidates that I could get an author's permission for. Before nominating, I'd recommend trying to find a free image if possible. If not, then if there is significant coverage on
869:
improved if the article contained a photo. I suppose the poster technically satisfies the FA requirement to have an image in the article, but even just a picture of someone from the cast or crew would be very helpful. Is there a free use image of
Greutert, Outerbridge, or Mandylor? They'd be the best
261:
My understanding is that a film's plot summary it should not go into extraneous details. Like how someone is killed, why they where killed, where they were killed and what they were killed with. Hank does not play in any main part of the "games", or plot, of the film as he was just pawn in Jigsaw's
1386:
is the last film, I won't have to worry about prepping another one next year, so maybe soon I will being work on the others. Thanks for you comments (and copyedits of your own)! Since the films are so controversial and has a "certain" fan base, I was worried that no one would bother reviewing it.
1415:
except for the 1(a) I mentioned earlier and also possibly 1(c). There may be more information in periodicals that could be used to expand the article. For example, you note that the film is controversial and has a "certain" fan base; maybe you can include that in the article—perhaps under a section
816:
I'm afraid if I keep trying to explain to the reader who each character is in the plot section, I'll run over to 1,000 words. I've thought about making a cast... *gulp*... list and including a brief summary of each character along with real-world casting details. I don't care about cast lists and
1738:
I see. Well, Facebook is being used more and more by official people as an "official" site. That page is from
Lionsgate, and it lists when the blood drive dates took place. That's all I would need the source for. But I'm sure during a FAC a reviewer would automatically dismiss a "facebook.com"
902:
article, someone was close to production in
Toronto and got a snapshot of the set. It was unusual for them to be in public filming like that anyway. It's possible to use a non-free image with critical commentary if no free images can be found. Like a scene of the film or something. I don't know
1102:
Yes, much better. The changes you made have significantly improved the prose of that section. As Erik mentioned on the talk page, you could also try to find more information in periodicals that are available in the research databases at public libraries that could be used to expand this section.
1046:
When
Hoffman returns to the observation room, he finds a letter that Jill has placed on the desk, which he had written to blackmail Amanda Young (Shawnee Smith), while Jill enters suddenly and shocks him, while William simultaneously reaches the end of his path, finding himself between the two
1719:
I don't think that
Facebook would be deemed a reliable source. I'd say stick with the original source that covers the specific details of the drive in relation to this film, and use the others to supplement details about the background of the drive itself. --Happy editing!
1659:"Lionsgate also held their annual "Give 'Til It Hurts" Blood Drive which was donated to the Red Cross." This could also use some rewording as it currently reads that they donated the drive to the Red Cross, not the actual blood donations. Although the drive is familiar to
1832:
I would like to use an image of the carousel trap since there is a good commentary for that particular contraption. Though no good quality/promotional screen shots are available online, so I may have to snap a screenshot from the DVD. If that fails, they released a
1168:"David Armstrong thinks visually, it might be his favorite saying ..." – this reads like original research, though it's not. Perhaps "David Armstrong thinks "visually", which reviewer Mike Pereira comments might be Armstrong's favorite saying" would be better?
786:
No need to retell Jill's life story, and surely the details about the clinic are in her article, but an uninitiated reader may not be sure of the meaning of "he is taking control of the games" There are several other instances like this in the article.
1526:
In the lead, "After the producers edited out the "most violent scenes"", a citation would probably be needed here if 'most violent scenes' is going to be quoted. If you don't want to cite here, then some slight rephrasing would alleviate any issues.
967:
Additionally, "the part of the sentence from "2009 ... attempting to regulate healthcare" is a bit awkward/unclear. Would "the U.S. government's attempt to regulate healthcare" or "... U.S. government and its attempt to regulate healthcare" be
161:. I would like to see where it stands now before I jump into my first FA review, which I plan on doing with this article. I don't want to embarrass my self by completely failing as soon as I nominate it. :) Any help would be appreciated.
317:
Were you previously advised to pare down the plot summary? Because I think it's a tad lacking when the irony of
William's decision isn't pointed out (Allen is in perfect health but has no family, while Addy has a chronic condition but has
1085:
Actually, after reading this section thoroughly---I hate it. I hate the "so and so returned" being used repetitively. What was I thinking. I wish I had more sources to work with, but I believe I have used every source there are for
331:. I never "wrote" the plot section, I just trimmed it down and fixed errors. It's possible that I've whacked off too much. When the GA review was done, the plot was at 636 words and it's now at 705 words. Their character pages (
1098:
already being cited in the article may have some more script material. I'll read those interviews more thoroughly. Those are the two more informative ones. I think I solved the "it was reported by" and " returned".
1569:"The film opened behind Paranormal Activity..." This could use a little more clarification, especially with those unfamiliar with box office jargon. Was it released after this film or, I'm assuming, grossed less than
760:
appreciate your time and suggestions. Do you usually review FACs? At any rate, what is your honest opinion about taking this through FA within the next month or so? I'm not a professional writer -- obviously. lol
1641:"The writers of both Saw IV and Saw V, Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan returned to write the sixth installment." It seems to me that this would flow better with the names at the beginning followed by the clause.
1430:, which is also a horror film and is an FA. Keep in mind, though, that a number of the FAs promoted in 2008 or earlier would not be considered FAs under today's standards. For example, many paragraphs in
1342:
1080:
franchise announced that Kevin
Greutert ..." would be better? There are some more instances of "it was reported" or "it was announced" throughout the article that can be reworded in a similar manner.
652:
would seem suggest using numerals for all, though three and a half is a bit thorny as I'm not sure "3½" would fulfill accessibility concerns (do screen readers verbalize "3½" as "three and a half" ?)
1559:
Although it's interesting about the rating of the film in Spain, since it still has yet to be fully released there, you may want to start off with the earlier releases before leading into Spain.
1906:
may provide some further guidance (and if not, help to edit the page to tailor it to how it works for you, since it doesn't seem that videos are springing up around
Knowledge). --Happy editing!
1076:– try to avoid writing in the passive voice. Who reported that Kevin Greutert would become the director or Costas Mandylor would continue to portray Mark Hoffman? Perhaps something like "The
508:
We already know what the "carousel room" and the "steam room" are from reading the article. So giving scant details, in the future tense, later on in the article doesn't really help anything.
315:
In the second test, Jigsaw's puppet informs
William that he must choose to save either his file clerk Allen (Shawn Ahmed) or his secretary Addy (Janelle Hutchison), and let the other die.
1669:
You should probably still keep it, as it is something that is prevalent throughout the franchise and kind of separates it from other films. Maybe you can get some further details from
475:
Certainly this sentence came from when information on the film was still speculative. It should probably be removed, since those traps have already been explained above in the article.
965:– This piece of information isn't mentioned anywhere else in the article. The lead should summarize the article's contents, so this should be included in one of the bottom sections.
727:
This article is quite good. I'm not the best at critiquing the technical aspects (spacing, accessibility, that sort of thing), so you may wish to have someone else dive in as well.
1965:
to take a look before nominating to trim and reword certain portions of the article. If you need any clarification on any of the above points, please let me know. --Happy editing!
1759:
I think it's okay for listing in the external links section if it is for the official page, but for citations, I don't think it would be deemed reliable. --Happy editing!
1670:
1117:
I will. I do know
Fangoria covers each film every year. Not sure about any other magazine, or any "in depth" coverage. Maybe I'll be surprised once I start looking...
1241:, but since they don't like to retain articles on their website for very long (so you will buy the magazine?), it was removed and is now unrecoverable. This is why I
1248:
Though the source is no longer online, it is still usable. The online link is just a courtesy link, so you can include the relevant citation info without a url; see
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No free pictures of them that I'm aware of. Many non-free pictures though (like Mandylor posing with fans at SawMania, etc). Ugh. I actually got lucky on the
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to GA one day. But it's easier to write a film article when you're updating it from the beginning–to–end of the film development cycle (to me). Since
981:
I don't know. If you can tie it into critical reception, it might fit there. You could also include it in a new section about the film's themes (see
985:), if there is enough information for something like "contemporary influences on the film". If it doesn't fit anywhere, though, I'd just remove it.
250:
Hank (Gerry Mendicino), his janitor and a smoker, is in the same situation across from him. Hank is killed when he fails to hold his breath longer.
685:
I had it backwards. MOSNUM actually suggests spelling out numbers below ten. But either way, don't mix the numerals and words together like this.
1903:
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options. I notice there are images of Bell, Russell, and Smith in their articles, but they're more like supporting players in this film.
1666:
I couldn't find more sources that said when the blood drive took place, where it took place or anything worth noting. So I removed it.
1422:
I recommend reading film articles that are featured articles to give you ideas for what else you can include in Saw VI. Looking through
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After the producers edited out the offensive content, the film will be released in the country with a "18" rating on October 8, 2010.
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The MPAA gave the film an R rating without running the movie for "sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture, and language".
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978:, I found a citation for it. I really couldn't fit anywhere in the body. Would it fit better in the Critical reception section?
488:
I don't quite understand this request. The "carousel room" and "steam room" is only discussed in the Filming and traps section.
1423:
1144:
he stated that the traps or "games" in Saw VI would be more personal to the victims and would be more one-on-one with the trap.
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1803:"...and was pulled from 1,314 theaters and made $ 449,512—$ 579." It appears the "per theater" designation was left out here.
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that was different than the previous films? If so, there can be a possible "Controversies" section. If not, then never mind.
1584:
and earned $ 14 million its opening weekend and went on to gross over $ 64 million worldwide, making it the lowest-grossing
963:
The film's plot has a heavy emphasis on the 2009 economic struggle of the U.S. government attempting to regulate healthcare.
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1062:: This section is a bit listy in that it lists the people who returned as writers, producers, cinematographers, etc. for
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1961:
Good work so far, it will be interesting to see how this does at FAC. I would recommend asking a member or two at the
435:
The new actress Tanedra Howard from the 2008 VH1 reality acting competition show Scream Queens won a role in the film.
692:
Music videos by Mushroomhead, Memphis May Fire, Hatebreed and Suicide Silence was also be included with all editions
107:
62:
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photo. That really helped the Saw 3D article. :) I'll have to use a non-free image, probably an image of a trap.
944:
films before, and I'm not sure I want to see them. Mutilation and torture in graphic detail–not my type of thing.
903:
what it would be though. On your other notes, I see what you mean now and will fix those issues. Thanks again.
1926:
Thanks, if it works, I hope the 39 second video will be deemed useful and within fair-use guidelines in the end.
933:
I haven't seen this movie, so my comments will be from the perspective of one who knows little about this topic.
784:
Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell) meets with Hoffman at her clinic; he informs her that he is taking control of the games
50:
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fans, a sentence or two on what the drive entails would be helpful (what separates it from other blood drives).
1337:
I don't think this article is ready for FA yet, though it is getting very close. I don't think it would pass
1530:
That is something new I added since it was just announced that Spain will show the film. I changed it to, "
1431:
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but I don't know if you can avoid that. Is there any more information about the writing process you can add?
99:
1813:
If going for FA, a few more reviews would be helpful, especially if any foreign reviews could be included.
782:
Also, the article seems to assume a familiarity with the Saw franchise as a whole (much as the movie did).
1699:
that explains how the blood drive works, but it's from 2007, I think would still work for the background.
332:
1695:
since it clearly says when the event took place. Would that be fine for the date verification? I found
437:
I think this could be worded better to specify that one is the direct result of the other, that is, that
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the movie, and it’s a huge relief." NOT "running". This has been in the article for months too. Sigh.
363:
When Hoffman returns to the observation room, he finds a letter that Jill has placed on the desk, which
17:
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about the background of the drive and its past success for the other films' releases. --Happy editing!
1984:
Will be interesting indeed. I've been looking at that guide of copy editors, trying to pick someone I
1294:
Yes, I believe that the official website qualifies as an acceptable source to verify the information.
1049:– this sentence is too long; it should be broken up into two or more sentences to improve readability.
1345:
who can provide more help with copyediting. Thank you for this entertaining and informative article.
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1996:
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1028:– it's not clear what tradition this is continuing. Perhaps you can add "followed the tradition of
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Well, I do think it's a tad lacking, but I'm not really up on FA standards for articles on films.
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he's killed. Does that matter? Wasn't there some kind of poisonous gas in the mask or something?
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Deactivate the dead link, and keep the citation information if still appropriate to the article
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every ref before they suddenly go offline. I will look for another site, but doubt I'm lucky.
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Not a Saw fan, or just haven't seen this particular one? Or did you stop at part 3 like most?
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Yes, actually on two separate occasions someone asked that the plot be trimmed and stay within
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Actually that particular statement has never been sourced. The only source available is the
2011:: instead of finding a particular copy-editer, I listed the article on their requests page.
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I'll see what I can do. I suppose it doesn't have to be a huge section, just a paragraph.
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1274:. Which I think I could use since it answers what I need: who released and when. Right?
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existed for the sole purpose of awarding a role in the film and that Howard is not just
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1205:– this sentence is confusing to me and probably needs a little rephrasing for clarity.
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Ok, that may work. Though, how do I transfer a .wmv or .mp4 to a .ogg file format?
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my understanding is that is frowned upon with FAs. Do you think that would work?
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Armstrong said there will be traps called the "carousel room" and the "steam room".
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Saw VI opened in 3,036 theaters at No. 2 with USD$ 6,957,263—$ 2,292 per theater,
1522:
Sorry for the delay in getting to this, but hopefully the following are helpful.
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1218:"Yep, that’s our badge of honor, courtesy of the MPAA! we got the R without
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titled "Controversies"? Also, have any of the sources talked about themes in
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which followed the tradition of being released on the Friday before Halloween
1610:
went on to gross over $ 64 million worldwide, making it the lowest-grossing
974:
That sentence is kind of new. I didn't add it and to prevent it from being
665:
Do you mean write the numbers out as words? Not sure about screen readers.
157:
on March 4, 2010 and I have been doing a lot of tweaking and copy-editing
1237:
1341:
1(a). The prose needs more work, so I recommend contacting someone from
1074:
On July 26, 2007 it was announced that Costas Mandylor would sign on ...
1595:
Or maybe something like "Grossing $ 14 million in its opening weekend,
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Buena Vista, the film's foreign distributor, has since filed an appeal.
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from that show as the first part of the sentence would seem to suggest.
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game. No, I don't think anything was in the masks, not even oxygen.
1902:
that can be downloaded to convert files over to the .ogg format. The
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1366:
1317:
All three editions have a "2-Movie Set", which bundle the first film.
92:
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Blake French of AMC Filmcritic gave Saw VI three and a half out of 5
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citation. Sad. :( I'll just work with what I've got. Thanks.
1181:
I've changed it.. but it still doesn't sound right? I don't know.
524:
Buena Vista, the distributor, unsuccessfully appealed the decision.
1331:
Occasional grammatical errors tend creep into my writing, too. ;)
637:
Christopher Monfette of IGN Movies rated Saw VI three out of five
1825:
Thanks for that. I had seen you were the one that uploaded the
1343:
Knowledge:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/List of participants
153:
I've listed this article for peer review because… it passed its
1228:
It was released on October 20, 2009, through Trustkill Records.
518:
Resolution to this? And the dated language should be avoided.
1453:
Well it's not just this entry that is controversial it's the
1822:
one of the traps, a non-free screenshot could be included.
701:
are already linked above. Linking them again is redundant.
219:
I saw this movie. The carousel scene gave me nightmares :(
1578:
The film opened at the box office in second place behind
1370:
in February, from scratch. I would love to get at least
646:
Brad Miska of Bloody Disgusting gave the film 7 out of 10
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I think what happened here is that it was sourced with
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However, I think the article's chances at FA would be
1482:
I have added some info from the Fangoria issue with
1434:are unreferenced, so Sunset Boulevard would fail a
1184:I think I've fixed it so that it reads better.
1070:In May 2008 it was reported that Kevin Greutert
1988:would be interesting in reading the article.
1464:Okay. Was there anything controversial about
70:
8:
412:I just removed it. It didn't fit anywhere.
150:This peer review discussion has been closed.
1457:that is. I will study some of the current
1146:– perhaps "...more personal to the victims
640:Kim Newman of Empire gave Saw VI 3 out of 5
600:it moved down to No. 6 and made $ 5,270,79
77:
63:
32:
1411:fulfills nearly all of the criteria at
983:Knowledge:Manual of Style (film)#Themes
837:I'm not really a frequent FA reviewer.
35:
1387:So this peer review is reassuring. :D
369:had written to blackmail Amanda Young
1691:I thought about sourcing it with the
335:) has more details on their "games".
7:
371:Department of redundancy department?
1898:If you are using Firefox, there is
1339:Knowledge:Featured article criteria
1214:mistake I've made. Kevin actually
1060:Production: Developing and writing
520:Motion picture rating system#Spain
24:
1614:film to date."? --Happy editing!
1436:Knowledge:Featured article review
1230:– this sentence needs a citation.
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657:
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1835:promotion poster with that trap
1537:Works for me. --Happy editing!
1424:Category:FA-Class film articles
1407:You're welcome. I believe that
648:These need to be standardized.
405:that questions about characters
1252:(the paragraph beginning with
1150:would be more one-on-one with
1:
333:List of Saw Characters#Saw VI
940:I've never seen any of the
608:On the weekend of Halloween
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2027:02:19, 9 August 2010 (UTC)
2004:21:55, 5 August 2010 (UTC)
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1328:I'm sure it should be. :P
1090:. Though, two interviews
595:On the Halloween weekend''
327:(400-700 words). See the
1502:19:46, 31 July 2010 (UTC)
1478:06:16, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
1448:18:15, 23 July 2010 (UTC)
1438:if it were not improved.
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1319:– should it be "...bundle
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1290:05:26, 25 July 2010 (UTC)
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1210:Actually, wow. That's a
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565:is the more common usage.
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2044:August 2010 peer reviews
1573:in its opening weekend?
1432:Sunset Boulevard (film)
1693:official facebook page
1256:) for how to do this.
1904:Multimedia department
1428:Bride of Frankenstein
602:Sounds clunky. Maybe
18:Knowledge:Peer review
1963:Guild of Copyeditors
1455:franchise as a whole
929:Comments from Cunard
604:On Halloween weekend
559:Paranormal Activity.
1791:Paranormal Activity
1581:Paranormal Activity
1534:" Is that better?
1035:being released ..."
1576:Is this better: "
1158:" would be better?
1599:placed second to
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530:I agree. Fixed.
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142:Watch peer review
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51:Manual of Style
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117:Article talk
116:
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93:
27:
1967:Nehrams2020
1908:Nehrams2020
1860:Nehrams2020
1793:opened to.
1761:Nehrams2020
1722:Nehrams2020
1675:Nehrams2020
1616:Nehrams2020
1539:Nehrams2020
563:behind only
556:only behind
104:visual edit
1827:Cary Elwes
1426:, I found
1250:WP:DEADREF
1179:Question:
663:Question:
486:Question:
366:he himself
159:since then
1484:this edit
650:WP:MOSNUM
329:talk page
223:The best
155:GA review
2038:Category
1517:Comments
1459:featured
1243:web cite
1238:Fangoria
888:Contribs
855:Contribs
805:Contribs
745:Contribs
561:I think
300:Contribs
209:Contribs
190:Doing...
164:Thanks,
1975:contrib
1916:contrib
1868:contrib
1769:contrib
1730:contrib
1697:article
1683:contrib
1624:contrib
1547:contrib
1379:Saw III
1220:ruining
1163:Agreed.
968:better?
900:Saw VII
874:Nosleep
867:greatly
841:Nosleep
791:Nosleep
731:Nosleep
705:Fixed.
614:Fixed.
570:Fixed.
450:Fixed.
443:someone
376:Fixed.
325:WP:PLOT
286:Nosleep
195:Nosleep
127:history
108:history
94:Article
36:Toolbox
2009:Update
1645:Agreed
1633:Agreed
1608:Saw VI
1597:Saw VI
1470:Cunard
1466:Saw VI
1440:Cunard
1413:WP:FA?
1409:Saw VI
1384:Saw 3D
1367:Saw 3D
1362:Saw VI
1347:Cunard
1296:Cunard
1258:Cunard
1186:Cunard
1105:Cunard
1088:Saw VI
1064:Saw VI
1054:Fixed.
1047:cages.
1040:Fixed.
987:Cunard
946:Cunard
758:really
318:kids).
28:Saw VI
2021:Allen
1998:Allen
1986:think
1936:Allen
1888:Allen
1847:Allen
1807:Fixed
1797:Fixed
1749:Allen
1709:Allen
1563:Fixed
1496:Allen
1397:Allen
1284:Allen
1152:their
1127:Allen
1033:films
1009:Allen
976:WP:OR
913:Allen
827:Allen
771:Allen
715:Allen
675:Allen
624:Allen
580:Allen
540:Allen
522:says
498:Allen
460:Allen
422:Allen
386:Allen
345:Allen
272:Allen
237:Allen
174:Allen
136:Watch
16:<
2016:Mike
1993:Mike
1971:talk
1931:Mike
1912:talk
1883:Mike
1864:talk
1842:Mike
1765:talk
1744:Mike
1726:talk
1704:Mike
1679:talk
1671:here
1620:talk
1543:talk
1491:Mike
1474:talk
1444:talk
1392:Mike
1376:and
1351:talk
1300:talk
1279:Mike
1262:talk
1216:said
1190:talk
1154:trap
1122:Mike
1109:talk
1096:here
1094:and
1092:here
1072:and
1004:Mike
991:talk
950:talk
908:Mike
882:Talk
849:Talk
822:Mike
799:Talk
766:Mike
739:Talk
710:Mike
697:and
670:Mike
619:Mike
575:Mike
535:Mike
493:Mike
455:Mike
417:Mike
381:Mike
340:Mike
294:Talk
267:Mike
232:Mike
203:Talk
169:Mike
123:edit
100:edit
1661:Saw
1612:Saw
1586:Saw
1418:Saw
1373:Saw
1212:big
1148:who
1078:Saw
1031:Saw
942:Saw
606:or
254:how
225:Saw
2040::
1977:)
1973:•
1918:)
1914:•
1870:)
1866:•
1837:.
1771:)
1767:•
1732:)
1728:•
1685:)
1681:•
1626:)
1622:•
1601:PA
1571:PA
1549:)
1545:•
1486:.
1476:)
1446:)
1353:)
1302:)
1264:)
1192:)
1111:)
993:)
952:)
885:·
852:·
802:·
756:I
742:·
598:,
592:''
398:''
297:·
206:·
140:•
125:|
106:|
102:|
1969:(
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1763:(
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1349:(
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1298:(
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1107:(
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948:(
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858:)
846:(
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796:(
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736:(
303:)
291:(
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200:(
132:·
129:)
121:(
113:·
110:)
98:(
78:e
71:t
64:v
Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Additional terms may apply.
