1189:"After a blighted six months with Austria Kärnten, he joined Hungarian side Ferencváros. With them he established himself as first choice ending the season as the club's top scorer with 17 goals in all competitions." This can be worded better: "After a blighted six months with Austria Karnten, he joined Hungarian side Ferencvaros, where he established himself as a first choice (note: this means a starter?) and ended the season as the club's top scoer with 17 goals in all competitions.
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While it looks like a lot of things here, there really isn't that much to fix. It's a clear article that is easy to understand, and just needs some cleaning up in terms of wording. Aside from my note about his playing style, I don't see anything major to add or remove. If there's any questions about
2199:"On 25 March 2015, Schembri captained Malta for the first time in a friendly against Georgia, fulfilling this role 16 times." Change to "Schembri captained Malta for the first time on 25 March 2015, in a friendly against Georgia; he ultimately served as captain 16 times."
2168:"In a match against Italy..." This whole paragraph feels a little unnecessary. It it is trying to show the praise Schembri earned from Pirlo, it is already included in the quote box; including this disrupts the flow of the section, so I'd suggest removing it outright.
1769:"In the match against Aris on 27 November, he scored and assisted the winning goal in the 2–1 win..." This sounds like he both scored and assisted on the winning goal. Try something like: "...he scored once and assisted on the winning goal in the 2–1 win..."
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The two citations noting he was regarded as a great
Maltese export seem out of place. Is there anyway to incorporate that into the body of the article, thus leaving the lead citation-free. I'll note that it's more a personal preference of mine more than
1738:"Following the rescinding of his contract with Olympiakos Volou..." This comes out of nowhere. Did he have his contract rescinded because they were demoted? It sounds like that's what happened, but it is not fully clear. Try to elaborate a bit.
1951:"...and with possibly not figuring out in manager Miguel Leal's plans for the following season..." This is unclear. Does it mean not figuring in Leal's plans, as in Leal wasn't sure how to use Schembri? If so then get rid of the "out."
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Should note he is retired at the start of the lead; it is slightly misleading otherwise. Perhaps something like "Andre
Schembri is a Maltese former footballer..." I realise it is awkward wording, but it has been used for other sports
1658:"Ferencváros signed Schembri in February 2010..." Note where Ferencvaros is based in. Later on it notes they play in the top Hungarian league; as this seems to be Schembri's first time in a top-tier league, I'd especially note that.
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Looks good. I addressed your two questions above, and regarding the retirement comments, those stem from it being unclear that he only retired from international play. But it looks clearer now, so I'm happy to pass the article.
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I think that would imply that he's completely retired from the game, which he hasn't so far. Schembri announced his retirement from international football but he is still active in the club game (although without a club at the
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1894:" In the last game of the season played at home against champions-elect Benfica..." Is "champions-elect" the correct term? Champions aren't usually elected, so would it be more accurate to say "presumptive champions"?
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Would it be possible to add any details about his playing style in the article? As it notes in the lead he had "versatility in forward roles," but nothing more on that. It seems like something that would be good to
1158:"Between the summers of 2007 and 2009 he spent season-long loans with German clubs..." Would it be worth noting they are lower-level clubs? I'm not familiar with the style for football articles, but seems relevant.
1503:"...Marsaxlokk were crowned league champions for the first time in their history." The "in their history" is redundant: being crowned league champions for the first time implies that already, so it can be removed.
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The infobox has the year 2019 listed beside
Apollon, but the lead notes he retired in 2018. Should rectify that so they match; it notes later in the article that he played until May 2019, so I'd change it to
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At the end of the season, which he concluded with five goals to his name, Panionios and
Schembri failed to agree on the renewal terms for his contract." Any idea why? Not that important, more curious than
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Thanks for taking the time to review the article. I have made the requested changes. There are some minor questions which I'm not sure about, and would like it if you provide your input. Thanks. —
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Further to the point above, I'd maybe note the years of his playing career early in the lead as well. Maybe instead of noting his last club, note his active years? Or something like that.
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2137:"Schembri formed part and was capped at various youth levels for Malta..." This reads awkwardly. Remove the "formed part": Schembri was capped at various youth levels for Malta..."
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Sources look good; no deadlinks or anything like that. It looks like they are all from reputable sources, and I'll trust those without a stated author have none listed.
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Sorry for the delay, but have looked it over, and have comments below. Note that I'm not big into football, so forgive any questions or comments that betray that:
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2013:"He ended the qualifying round scoring four goals in six matches and becoming the second Maltese player..." Change to "...and became the second Maltese player..."
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1863:"With six additional goals in this round, Schembri took his season tally to 17 goals, ending as the league's second highest goalscorer." Needs a citation.
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1472:"Midway through the 2004–05 season, there were disagreements between Schembri and the club..." Any idea what these disagreements were about?
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The citation at the end of the first paragraph of "German stint" (currently #20) should be moved to the end of the sentence/paragraph.
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His retirement was solely for international football (which was in
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Couldn't find anything related to this disagreement, so left it as it as what is shown in the MaltaFootball reference.
1251:"After completing the 2011–12 season, Schembri was signed by Omonia." I would note it's a Cypriot club somewhere here.
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If that's a common term used, then I'd leave it. I'm just not familiar enough with football terms, so was unsure.
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1832:"The following 2013–14 season..." Having "following" and the years is redundant; remove one of them.
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Since it is a one-liner I think it would make sense to push it to the introduction.
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The following references may be useful when improving this article in the future:
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Moved the photo as the infobox image as remarked in a previous comment
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Should add a year for the photo in the "Early career" section.
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I made a few grammatical edits myself, but nothing serious.
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Thanks for clarifying. It should be fine left as is then.
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Updated to show Carl Zeiss Jena's league for the season
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Could one of the images not be used in the infobox?
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2330:Categories
1905:Question:
1669:Question:
1026:Authorship
1012:GA toolbox
37:under the
1801:anything.
1347:anything.
1085:Reviewer:
1049:Templates
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519:Biography
459:Biography
263:libellous
142:if needed
125:Be polite
75:talk page
2236:include.
1327:moment).
1098:contribs
1054:Criteria
383:Football
324:Football
295:GA-class
110:get help
83:This is
81:article.
47:reassess
673:on the
410:on the
329:Germany
208:WP refs
196:scholar
301:scale.
180:Google
54:Review
1410:that.
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138:Seek
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971:Tip:
508:and
216:FENS
190:news
127:and
665:Mid
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