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I agree with rewriting instead of merging. Floatopia/Deltopia is most relevant to Isla Vista, but it also touches on San Diego and San Luis Obispo, and other communities, and there's plenty of source material available for a good-sized independent article instead of a few sentences in the IV article.
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That would not be an appropriate place as the event is actually is Isla Vista, California. The subject line in the article is incorrect. Let's put this conversation on hold for maybe like a week. Since no one else has stepped up to do it, I have taken on the task of re-writing the entire article.
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Summary: almost sufficient word count, no padding and repetition, good research and range of sources and use of paraphrase and quote, interesting subject. Still needs work on organization and expression as noted. B-
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13.Environmental impact section needs to begin with a topic sentence, not a small supporting detail. Good material in this section, but the evidence is just thrown together, not combined into a coherent report.
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657:. It is, by no means, a finished product, but should give a bit of insight as to where I'm heading with the article. If you'd like to edit the draft as well, feel free. Comments would also be appreciated.
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Improved. This is an informative and also entertaining article. Please check the many small edits I had to make by comparing the current to the earlier page. Final grade B+
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11."were taken to hospitals to receive treatment from head injuries from alcohol bottles being thrown, alcohol poisoning, and other lacerations." Proofread
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Sounds reasonable to me. Dramatically shortening the article and pruning the content would also be quite welcome (and a natural side effect of a merge.)
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9. Next three headings should be subordinated to a heading that covers all of them. "Safety Staff" doesnt provide enough information.
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This page should not be speedily deleted because the article does not fail any of the criteria for speedy deletion as laid out per
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Now that the AFD discussion ended as "no consensus", shall the article be merged into another article? If so, which one? --
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8. There are as many as 67 results that appear when searching for "Floatopia" on
Facebook.--what does this mean?
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703:, as it has received enduring news coverage through the years. As such, it qualifies for a standalone article.
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15. verbs in "Floatopia 2" need to express condition contrary to fact: e.g. not "would" but "would have."
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find better heading than "incident reports." incorporate references as citations within the section
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on
Knowledge. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
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After an AfD closes, normal editing resumes. A merge discussion would be part of such process.
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Thanks GauchoDude for starting that project! I'll take a look and might throw some edits in.
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6. "Online Social
Networking" doesnt clearly relate to topic; change wording of heading.
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make lead shorter and create a new heading for general material in first paragraph
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4. "General" is too vague for a heading. This material belongs in the lead.
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14.Dont use "amount" for "number." Needs correction in several places.
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7. "attributed" --do you mean "attributable"? Look up these two words.
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Knowledge requested photographs in Santa
Barbara County, California
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While it's no where near complete, feel free to view my progress
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The photo's location is given. It is in
Mission Bay, San Diego.
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2.Name also relates to "Utopia." Explain the etymology.
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No, otherwise the AfD result would have been to merge.
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3. "characterized"--wrong word--probably "patronized."
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414:. Please replace this template with a more specific
454:delete first heading to bring lead above contents
716:The photo was taken in San Diego, not Isla Vista.
460:find more informative heading than "networking"
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466:provide more citations inside SLOtopia section
480:1.Floatopia is an event that has taken place
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495:5. "Furthermore" is redundant with "also"
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483:be more specific--what kind of event?
735:Good point! I clarified the caption.
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314:This article is within the scope of
257:It is of interest to the following
23:for discussing improvements to the
765:Low-importance California articles
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427:Openverse Creative Commons Search
340:Knowledge:WikiProject California
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45:Click here to start a new topic.
770:WikiProject California articles
360:This article has been rated as
343:Template:WikiProject California
195:This article was nominated for
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334:and see a list of open tasks.
42:Put new text under old text.
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760:C-Class California articles
584:Merge into another article?
50:New to Knowledge? Welcome!
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366:project's importance scale
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394:It is requested that an
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317:WikiProject California
247:This article is rated
75:avoid personal attacks
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100:Neutral point of view
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105:No original research
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450:(Untitled)
400:photograph
337:California
327:California
322:U.S. state
278:California
221:discussion
211:discussion
697:Not merge
590:George Ho
88:if needed
71:Be polite
21:talk page
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404:Deltopia
197:deletion
56:get help
29:This is
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25:Deltopia
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640:ElKevbo
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364:on the
249:C-class
154:WP refs
142:scholar
440:Upload
431:Flickr
255:scale.
126:Google
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169:JSTOR
130:books
84:Seek
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