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712:'The quantity of arsenic, however, was high enough that it acted as an emetic, causing the poison to be vomited out before it could become lethal, preventing potential fatalities' needs to be shortened to 'The quantity of arsenic involved was high enough to cause the poison to be vomited out before it killed the victim' (information duplicated twice).
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Thanks a lot for the very quick and comprehensive review! I'll go through your detailed points section by section (and have already started), but just a query on the copyvio point under 2d: Checking Earwig all the main chunks that are flagged are given as direct quotations (e.g. the charges at the
794:
As '£' is correct according to
Cameron, keep it in, but add "According to the author Nigel Cameron" within the sentence, to emphasise that the currency is deliberately inconsistent with the rest of the article. Or just shorten it to 'forced to pay a fine'. Amitchell125 05:58, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
1193:
Supreme Court, the letter to Xin'an, one quotation from L&M themselves), but I can see there might be an issue with the second paragraph of the "Course of events" section (e.g. "committed for trial at the
Supreme Court", "remainder of the detainees" etc), was that you were thinking of? —
806:
I've gone for a slightly different tack because I think an "according to" construction might be taken the wrong way as suggesting there's uncertainty about the judgement. Instead I've added a note to both figures referencing Munn, who has a useful table and note on currencies used in the
1202:
Thanks for your work so far, Nizolan. Looking again at 2d, I can see what you mean about the direct quotations, which are clearly shown as such in the article. I have addressed the other duplicated phrases in the Course of Events section. Amitchell125 08:08, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
1095:
I suggest 'Chan Tsz-tin described the aftermath of the incident in the letter to Chan Kwei-tsih that was published by the press in June 1857:' would be enough to refer to the letter described in the
Analysis section. Amitchell125 07:50, 9 August 2019
1164:
each line on completion). I still have a reference or two to check (involving a bike trip to my local university library), but otherwise the review is done. I have put the article on hold for seven days to allow time for the above changes to be done.
531:
You should use Lowe and McLaughlin's
Introduction to emphasise the notability of the case - e.g., its unparalleled nature, the aspects that are still unresolved, and what the incident says about "the precarious nature of early colonial Hong
566:, though you'll want to double-check that I've resolved this to your satisfaction. I only added citations for the unprecedented nature since I think the others summarise info covered in the sections on responsibility and effects.
599:
so: Zhang Yalin is the pinyin for the
Mandarin reading of his name, but it strikes me as gratuitous because no one involved in the event would have been speaking Mandarin, and I can't find anyone other than Bowman who uses it.
1103:'took over the supply of bread' - for the colony/area/street? Carroll (p. 26) mentions that the bakery was the only "Western-style one remaining in the colony", and this needs to be clear within the article.
764:- almost all done except I've used "shown symptoms of poisoning" rather than "had been poisoned" since that was what I was getting at (though could go with "had been poisoned" and a verb other than "noted").
752:
replace 'desired that Cheong be' with 'wished Cheong to be'; 'remainder of the detainees' with 'other detainees'; 'had suffered from the poisoning;' with 'had been poisoned;'; 'and claimed' with 'and added'.
310:, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose);
47:
307:
632:. Deleted "to the north" and "labourer". I added "labourer" since from personal experience lots of people don't know what a coolie is; "labourer" or "Chinese labourer" piped to
1160:
An interesting and impressively written article, and not much needs to be changed. The above list looks a little daunting, but it shouldn't take that long to sort out (please
182:
219:
80:
685:
Carroll discusses the problems the authorities faced concerning piracy in the area - this should be added as one of the issues the
British were 'also faced with'.
126:
388:
Most of the article is absolutely fine. I have listed for each section the issues I have identified that need to be addressed, some of which are quite minor.
70:
122:
482:
866:
of Anstey's call for a court-marshall, or
Bowring's insistence of a trial by jury. Both facts are mentioned by Lowe and McLaughlin, so use them instead.
52:
107:
223:
215:
900:—John Day, who also served as Acting Attorney General (very difficult to find info on him because of his improbably search-engine-unfriendly name).
842:
ref 11a - that the arsenic acted as an emetic is written elsewhere in Lowe and McLaughlin's paper - you need to add a reference to another page.
207:
99:
1008:
MOS says imperial units should be given alongside metric equivalents, but in this case it's a weight divided by a weight, or in other words a
1016:
is just % except out of 1000 instead of 100. Unsure if this needs clarification in the article, maybe just a link for "parts per thousand"?
1114:, have clarified "to the colonial community" here but will deal with the importance of Cheong's bakery in the course of events section.
506:
156:
1068:, changed to "In a state of panic". My thought was that without the quotes "Gripped by fear and panic" might come off as emotive/POV.
1140:
Duddell is described by
Cameron as "one of the colony's most devious crooks" (p. 83). I definitely think Cameron needs to be quoted!
211:
416:
75:
1206:
I am now passing the article, it is now in excellent shape. Excellent work, Nizolan. Amitchell125 15:38, 16 August 2019 (UTC)
662:'British "rebel barbarians" and ordering Chinese to renounce employment by the "foreign dogs" ' - are these actual quotations?
339:
323:
474:
1090:
a confiscated letter to Chan Kwei-tsih, the head of the resistance committee in Xin'an County, from his brother Tsz-tin
791:, £ is obviously pound sterling. Could be specified though I'm not sure if there's a source that's specific on the $ .
486:
299:
115:
17:
1092:"), hence the back-link to clarify who he is and avoid repetition. Could be anchored to that specific paragraph?
303:
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249:
950:, off the top of my head they were sent to Bavaria and Britain but will need to double-check sources first.
1175:
1009:
436:
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822:
add that Cheong left Hong Kong with his family - not alone, as is implied in the article. (Carroll p. 26)
189:
The whole article is generally written to a high standard, I have itemised the minor changes to be made
92:
343:
787:
There were a range of different currencies in use in Hong Kong at the time. $ is almost certainly
1013:
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There are parts of the article that have very similar text to the sources, particularly from
1217:—apologies for leaving a couple of loose ends, I was tied down a bit in the last few days. —
463:
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260:
it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with
990:, though I added it because the reference for the claim in the caption is in that section.
467:
420:: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
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1154:, good idea—I was considering starting an article on Duddell just earlier, actually.
677:
Specified by amending the sentence slightly. Amitchell125 05:45, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
1218:
1194:
1134:—given the timeframe either would probably work, but I've specified the poisoning.
618:'coolie labourer' or just 'coolie'? (a coolie is a labourer); why 'to the north'?
674:
Yes (given in block quotes by L&M)—not sure if this needs to be specified?
351:
932:
for why I think it needed to be done). Amitchell125 07:03, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
925:
Do you mean the links for drachm/grain and if so what should the note say?
166:
I am happy to review this article. Amitchell125 18:49, 7 August 2019 (UTC)
1107:
976:
remove '(see below)' from the caption as being neither clear or necessary.
799:
757:
435:: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing
397:
it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see
886:
ref 20 - a Mr. Day also defended the prisoners, as mentioned on p. 416.
1019:
Sorted. Thanks for explaining. Amitchell125 07:35, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
996:
can you explain the '' within the quote? I don't understand it at all.
603:
Agreed, don't change anything. Amitchell125 05:43, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
633:
280:
583:- does this need to be mentioned in note 2 as an alternative name?
775:'sued for libel by Bridges and forced to pay a fine of £100'. $ ?
913:
remove both links from the quote, and put in the Notes section.
1120:'Soon after the incident' - the poisoning or the arson attack?
642:
change 'Hong Kong
Governor' to 'the Governor of Hong Kong'.
569:
It looks fine now. Amitchell125 14:44, 16 August 2019 (UTC)
1088:—Chan Tsz-tin's identity is given in the linked section ("
283:
to catch duplicate entries, so this should now be fixed.
956:
remove 'normally a powerful poison' (already discussed).
810:
Neatly solved. Amitchell125 14:44, 16 August 2019 (UTC)
134:
103:
732:'coordinated an emergency response' can be taken out.
767:
Understood. Amitchell125 05:49, 9 August 2019 (UTC)
183:understandable to an appropriately broad audience
1079:I think the two points above are connected, so
1054:Why is ' "fear and panic" ' in quotation marks?
807:colony—hopefully that sorts out the concern.
8:
352:https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/42630523.pdf
579:Bowman (p. 307) refers to Cheong Ah-lum as
30:
1034:name the 'Another newspaper' if possible.
185:; spelling and grammar are correct; and
61:
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7:
939:'dispatched to Europe' - too vague.
276:as they come from the same source.
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1198:21:21, 8 August 2019 (UTC)
1180:20:40, 8 August 2019 (UTC)
262:the layout style guideline
161:18:49, 7 August 2019 (UTC)
18:Talk:Esing Bakery incident
864:South China Morning Post
505:to the topic, and have
1076:remove '(see above)'.
1010:dimensionless quantity
1073:who was Chan Tsz-tin?
1028:Effects and aftermath
375:Broad in its coverage
202:it complies with the
340:copyright violations
324:no original research
255:no original research
439:or content dispute.
306:. All content that
1014:Parts per thousand
726:with slight tweak.
479:copyright statuses
454:, if possible, by
224:list incorporation
507:suitable captions
485:are provided for
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304:cited inline
279:I just used
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117:Article talk
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81:Instructions
1112:Partly done
804:Partly done
762:Partly done
581:Zhang Yalin
477:with their
452:Illustrated
191:(see below)
104:visual edit
612:Background
595:, I don't
545:, will do.
501:media are
473:media are
344:plagiarism
250:Verifiable
170:Assessment
48:Authorship
34:GA toolbox
1162:cross out
144:Reviewer:
71:Templates
62:Reviewing
27:GA Review
907:Analysis
503:relevant
458:such as
437:edit war
361:Sorted.
286:Thanks.
157:contribs
76:Criteria
1219:Nizolan
1209:Thanks
1195:Nizolan
948:Working
543:Pending
417:Neutral
220:fiction
127:history
108:history
94:Article
634:coolie
532:Kong".
481:, and
475:tagged
460:images
433:Stable
274:/: -->
272:"name"
222:, and
212:layout
1096:(UTC)
597:think
489:; and
468:audio
466:, or
464:video
456:media
326:; and
253:with
136:Watch
16:<
1176:talk
1151:Done
1131:Done
1065:Done
1045:Done
987:Done
967:Done
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302:are
151:talk
123:edit
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