1200:" Egoyan found it was initially challenging to acquire the rights to the novel, saying "it wasn’t available," due to rights being optioned to studios that weren't actually producing it." Thanks for clarifying this. But it's so wordy, you have a contraction which isn't MOS-approved, it isn't quite technically correct (source says studio, not studios) and I don't see why the quote is necessary. Most importantly, I also think it still fails to explain the story very clearly; if it was already optioned, how did Egoyan get the rights at all? Reading the source, it looks like you can express it more simply as something like: "Egoyan was initially unable to get the rights to the book, as had been optioned by another studio. Two years later, at the suggestion of novelist Margaret Atwood, he spoke to Banks personally. As the studio option was about to expire, Banks, tired of studio procrastination, gave the rights to Egoyan on the condition that he make the film." You should also wikilink to
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I'm sure you can condense this into a one or two-sentence summary. It's only useful to quote a source if they have something original or insightful to say about the situation; for example, the quote about why
Exotica performed better is good because it tells us something new, rather than just restate the same thing. But the others are just repetitive. Does that make sense?
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This looks a little short to me. (I have a funny feeling I wrote it - or a version of it - a long time ago, whoops.) Having said that, I err on the side of brevity, and it's a deliberately concise movie, so if you don't think there's anything worth expanding on, that's totally cool. Clearly I didn't
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Apart from the detail about it being "challenging" to get the rights, which is still unclear IMO, I only have one more major issue with the prose. The box office section basically restates the same information (it was a box office flop but critical success) several times, quoting multiple sources.
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Even though the book, from what I understand (didn't read it), depicts their relationship as abusive it isn't so in the film. You can see them in one scene laying on a haystack, smiling to each other and french kissing. This doesn't seem abusive to me. The film suggests that she was acting out of
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Tweaked prose; respectfully disagree about box office analysis, Writers Guild adds some context about other
Canadian films and the international box office specifically; Stuart adds the film aimed for a mass audience; Spokesman-Review comments specifically on box office.
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spite when she lied in her deposition. The night before that she tells him she's no longer his beautiful rockstar girl. Seems like she had a crush on her dad, which the accident dispelled by making her disabled and now she can't live up to her father expectations.
857:" Novelist Margaret Atwood suggested Egoyan meet with Banks personally after his success with the film Exotica (1994)." Who does "his" refer to? And who did she suggest it to, Egoyan or Banks? She's a writer so maybe she knows Egoyan?
1234:"Egoyan later stated he was drawn to the novel because he felt film is for "confronting the most extreme things."" I don't understand this. Why would his opinion on film attract him to a novel? Do you mean he was drawn to
874:"Banks was willing to grant Egoyan the rights, and Egoyan later stated he was drawn to the novel because he felt film was for "Confronting the most extreme things." These two pieces of information seem unconnected.
1280:. In a nutshell, periods and commas should go outside of the quotation marks if it is not a complete sentence being quoted. I would argue that this applies not only to the main text but also the References section.
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751:"The film was highly acclaimed upon its release" - this sounds like puffery and it's unnecessary when you have the concrete facts of the awards instead. delete.
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In the
External links section, it would be helpful if the link "Film reviews" had more information about the source or specifics of the content. Cheers,
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Great, thanks. I tweaked a few more small things, mainly grammar issues; I hope that's OK - seemed simpler than just listing them all in a niggly way.
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be mentioned in the lead. Keeping the mention in the lead is fine. The new sentence is good and actually gives more relevant information, nice job.
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The Alton info does need to be in the body, not the lead. I suggest adding a sentence to the start of the
Production section, something like: "
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Good point. The terms (rail/barrier) were not consistent before, so I missed this. I've reinserted it and made them consistent.
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Fair enough. I'm not persuaded all the quotes are necessary but it's not a major problem and it's still readable and clear.
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is adapted from the novel of the same name by
Russell Banks, inspired by actual events in Alton, Texas in 1989."
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on
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Removed that link- never heard of FilmVault, and it doesn't appear to have a
Knowledge (XXG) article.
891:"in order to make funding from Canada more accessible." - simplify: "to help secure Canadian funding"
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You don't need cast names in plot summaries when you have a cast section - unnecessary duplication.
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The prose is generally good, but I have some suggestions for clarifying and simplifying some parts:
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Oh, one more thing. Looks like some text got garbled: "Holm explained hes acceptance". Huh?
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OK, this looks like a Good
Article to me. Congratulations and thanks for your hard work!
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Removed Oscar ref. Not sure where Alton mention belongs in body at this time.
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This is one of my favourite films. Looking forward to reviewing this article.
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Removed "highly," but awards and reviews aren't exactly the same thing.
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First impressions: this looks like a nice, concise, well-cited article.
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pretty bland, essentially "he liked the job". delete, not interesting.
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lead sections don't need citations - citing in the body is sufficient.
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Egoyan and the
Canadian actors to be great to work with. -: -->
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970:"Holm called his part a "Difficult role,"" - : -->
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962:"Holm accepted the role," - We know this, delete
777:seem to think so at the time. Just double-check.
45:. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
439:. To improve this article, please refer to the
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1272:A very nice article! A couple of comments:
1218:Thanks for finding that wikilink. Revised.
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57:: August 15, 2016. (
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575:Instructions
501:— Preceding
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168:law articles
147:
94:WikiProjects
52:
43:please do so
31:
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1636:Popcornduff
1567:with their
1347:", without
1276:Please see
1240:Popcornduff
1238:the novel?
1206:Popcornduff
1178:Popcornduff
1149:Popcornduff
1135:Popcornduff
821:Popcornduff
731:Popcornduff
699:Popcornduff
624:Popcornduff
604:Popcornduff
589:transcluded
412:Film portal
154:legal field
1652:Categories
1414:A. Has an
1408:verifiable
835:Production
542:Authorship
528:GA toolbox
441:guidelines
429:open tasks
141:Law portal
37:under the
1537:edit wars
601:Reviewer:
565:Templates
556:Reviewing
521:GA Review
1593:relevant
1555:contain
1553:Does it
1349:copyvios
1325:WP:WIAGA
1299:Ribbet32
1220:Ribbet32
1164:Ribbet32
1109:Ribbet32
965:Tweaked.
806:Ribbet32
756:Ribbet32
713:Ribbet32
637:Comments
614:contribs
570:Criteria
503:unsigned
383:Canadian
84:GA-class
47:reassess
1614:Overall
1539:, etc:
1508:neutral
1489:Focused
1381:fiction
1345:concise
1285:Moisejp
802:Comment
297:on the
212:Ontario
1571:, and
1565:tagged
1557:images
1530:stable
1528:Is it
1505:Is it
1464:Is it
1401:Is it
1383:, and
1373:layout
1332:Is it
270:Canada
261:Canada
207:Canada
90:scale.
54:Review
1341:clear
1236:adapt
591:from
1640:talk
1405:and
1385:list
1369:lead
1343:and
1303:talk
1289:talk
1259:Done
1244:talk
1224:talk
1210:talk
1182:talk
1168:talk
1153:talk
1139:talk
1113:talk
1105:Done
1087:Done
1070:Done
1043:Done
1025:Done
1007:Done
981:Done
955:Done
937:Done
919:Done
901:Done
884:Done
867:Done
850:Done
825:talk
810:talk
793:Done
772:Plot
760:talk
735:talk
727:only
717:talk
703:talk
680:Done
663:Done
648:Lead
628:talk
608:talk
511:talk
446:Film
431:and
378:Film
1599::
1535:No
1487:B.
1471:A.
1446:C.
1365:MoS
1363:B.
289:Low
178:???
159:Law
113:Law
49:it.
1654::
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1616::
1579::
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1511:?
1491::
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1321:GA
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96::
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